No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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