one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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