used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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