You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
