lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
