Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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