Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hello my rib-scented angel!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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