Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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