Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize