im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
