Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
