3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize