It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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