And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
