He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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