This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
