Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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