JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
