I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
