We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
