playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
