what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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