Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
