he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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