Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
