i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
