i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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