dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
