he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
