If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
