my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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