I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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