Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
