Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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