doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
