Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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