soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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