PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
