You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
