I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
the liver wants what the liver wants
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
