it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize