oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
40s are totally the cure
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
