East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
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