dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
