Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my sisters under your porch take her home
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize