Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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