So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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