so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
