We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
