just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
