I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
