im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she pinky promised me she was 18
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
dude. I can hear the air.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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