I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
