Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
