we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize