So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
True college students do jello shots in the library
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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