you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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