Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
